FOR LEADERS IN TECH

How to Escape Burnout and Recover Energy, Joy, and Hope in Your Work and Life as a Leader in Tech

Warning: This May Actually Save Your Life, Marriage, Business, and So Much More.

7 min readAug 26, 2020

Honestly, are any of us actually okay right now? Born and raised in California, my heart hurts so many other parts of the U.S. on fire as our world burns. Then, there’s this COVID-19 pandemic with over 814,000 deaths around the world. Work from home challenges, one of the worst unemployment moments in U.S. history, protests and riots, a severe spike in mental health and domestic violence risk — if you didn’t have stress and fear before reading all that, no one would blame you for feeling it now.

That’s our world today… and all the lights on our society’s dashboard are flashing “Warning!”.

How are you holding up? I love that question because it telegraphs to the other person, “Not everything is okay, and I recognize that.” What do we do with all of this? How can we be okay when everything is so not okay?

While working with clients this week, I recognized a pattern: signs of burnout. After working as a Silicon Valley exec for over 25 years, the telltale signs are impossible to miss as I look around our world today. Constant stress, little to no energy, lack of motivation, loss of appetite, insomnia, short fuses erupting into fits of anger or even rage, being distant relationally — add these all together and dude, it’s a wicked burnout cocktail.

Does that sound like your last few weeks or even last six months? If so, chances are you’re heading toward burnout or already burned out. I’ve seen what burnout can do to someone’s health, life, relationships, and business impact. Times like these can feel incredibly hard and hopeless.

Ready for some good news? You’re not alone. I’m not here to tell you how to change everything overnight and give you more work to do. What I do want to do is tell you that even asking yourself if you’re burning out is a good sign. I also want to give you a couple of insights that I’ve shared with clients and different audiences around the world about what I know worked for me when I was burning out. Yes, it’s absolutely possible to escape the damage of burnout and reclaim your energy, joy, and hope in your work and life. It starts with honesty.

Step 1: Be honest with yourself about burnout.

What I know to be true is that our guts rarely lie to us. That gut instinct — that intuition — is usually the smartest voice in your head. When I was burning out, I ignored that voice. It wasn’t until I was sitting in the ER while doctors ruled out if I had a heart attack that I finally heard my inner voice loud and clear.

I was sitting there in the ER working on a tech exec leadership presentation slidedeck for the next day. I hadn’t even been home yet to see my family because I was crunched against a deadline. All the while doctors moved around me running tests and checking my vitals. Talk about a wakeup call. My inner voice told me right then and there, “Lisa, dude, you’re burning out and it’s bad! You’re lucky to even be alive.”

Now, thankfully I didn’t have a heart attack, but I saw I was so busy being just busy. Low productivity, more resentment, and coping through sugar. Again, sound familiar? Calmer, a UK-based training organization focused on mental health and wellbeing, recently posted a list of common symptoms of burnout, which include:

Behavioural changes
Chronic headaches
Chronic stomach or bowel problems
Complete neglect of personal needs
Continuation or increase in escapist activities
Desire to “drop out” of society
Desire to move away from work or friends/family
Development of an escapist mentality
Feeling empty inside
Obsession over problems at work or in life
Pessimistic outlook on work and life
Physical symptoms intensify and/or increase
Self-doubt
Social isolation

You have to ask yourself, “Am I burning out?” and then be honest with how you answer the question. How you respond and how you feel about your response is going to be a huge indicator. Notice the language, the wording you use to talk about work and life right now. Write it down and then consider if the words you’re telling yourself are even true. It’s likely your perspective is off because of burnout. That’s where we take the next step to escape burnout.

If you’re ready to escape burnout and reclaim your joy, energy, and drive, take your first step by connecting with me at lisaduerre.com.

Step 2: Reclaim your focus.

Where are you expending most of your energy? Jon Gordon refers to energy drains as “energy vampires” (if you haven’t read his book The Energy Bus, do yourself a favor and get a copy). Energy vampires suck your focus.

Now, there’s a lot to be angry and resentful about right now, no sugarcoating about that. There are things in your life and work that might irritate or drain you even more now because of everything that’s happening. There are people that might irritate or drain you more now. If you’re not typically drained or distracted, pay attention to the source and really reflect on what is it that’s really underneath it all.

You may need to say “No” to more things on your schedule right now so you can have the space you need to recharge your energy. Where is your attention going? Are you looking for things that are broken to support your beliefs? Are you looking for people that suck to support your beliefs? Where are you looking and what are you focusing on in your life and work?

If you’re finding that you’re stuck in a negative rut and looking for things that are wrong, that’s another sign of burnout because your lens is off. So, you need to celebrate even small wins. Right now there’s very little celebration going on of things that are working well. Maybe even the fact that you’re drinking more water, celebrate that. The fact that you’re more engaged at home or that you remembered to vote, whatever you can celebrate or highlight for yourself that’s positive is going to bring your energy up. You’re going to see more of that because what you focus on expands.

Step 3: Start taking micro-steps toward joy.

The last step that I think is important to decide if you’re in burnout and really crystallize what’s happening for you is taking action. Think about a micro-step or two that you can take in each of the big areas of your life (rest, relationships, wellness, boundaries, etc.) and then assess how you feel. It’s not a massive change, just a micro-step to start. Instead of saying you’re going to exercise five days a week starting on Sunday when you haven’t been working out at all, start with one workout. Then another. And another. Give yourself some grace.

What’s one micro-step can you take today to be a little less negative or resentful, a little less angry, or a little less absolute? Is it calling someone who lifts your spirits? Is it taking 10 minutes to sit quietly somewhere? Even if it’s being in the bathroom right now because that’s some peace and quiet, find that right space for you. Is it putting on your favorite song? For some clients, I have them shake their hands to work out some of that anxiety. They laugh, get a burst of energy, and start feeling a little better in the moment. For others, the answer is music. What’s a song that really lights you up and makes you feel good?

If these micro-steps start working for you, that’s your path for escaping burnout. See how you feel and notice that that’s your toolbox right now. It’s the smallest things right now that are making the biggest difference, okay? Now, if you take those micro-steps and it doesn’t work, figure out what you felt. See if there’s another micro-step you need to choose instead. Stay curious. And, if it’s at all possible, rest. If it’s at all possible, let something go. If it’s at all possible, let somebody know you’re struggling and see what they can do to support you.

Whatever you can do today for your own mental health, stress management, and perspective is not only a gift to you, it’s a gift to everyone you’re leading and to everyone you love.

You can do this. You can manage your stress. You can take a micro-step today to change your perspective and open yourself up to possibility. You can find 10 minutes of quiet. Put your hand on your heart, take a couple of deep breaths, and get grounded in today.

You can do this. I’m rooting for you and I wish you the best day possible. Take good care.